Poetry Corner II

I went into this set of lyrics expecting to re-work them much more ruthlessly than I ultimately did.  I think that might be because, in the original version, there's one line (in the first verse, no less) that disproportionately jumps out at me as cringe-inducing:

"And I have to work the day to get my bread"

In the context of this song, I have two big problems with that line.  The first is that not all work is created equal: in the years since the Escapades, I've become much more aware of how fortunate my peers and I are to have not been born in, say, a coal-mining town around 1890 or so.  The second is that it brazenly ignores the non-financial reason why work - be it paid or not - is important: keeping oneself at least somewhat busy is paramount to good mental well-being.  There's a reason why it is so common for people's health to go into a sharp decline right after retirement.

The other bit I've always thought was awkward is the "B" section (which appeared twice in previous versions of the song, but won't this time).  Again the problems hinge on one line:

"I knew the day would come"

If we take this song to be a metaphor for the longed-for end of hard times, then this line clashes with the reality of how painful it is when you don't know if (let alone when) things will get better.  Moreover, as the later stages of the COVID-19 era illustrate so vividly, finding one's feet emotionally after such a season is extremely challenging in its own right.  (This does, as it happens, beautifully contextualize the dark, instrumental "C" section!)  Therefore, I started by re-writing the "B" section with this in mind, before turning my attention elsewhere.

While the "B" and "C" sections treat the titular island as a metaphor, the "A" sections are a far more literal musical postcard.  I left the chorus completely unaltered, but revised the verses with (as it happens) a recent visit to the real-life place fresh in my mind.  I also added a new third verse, replacing the repeat of the first that, in previous versions, was yet another factor in the last 3 of this piece's 9 minutes being ludicrously anticlimactic.

I'm tired of all the noises of my home,
Where I'm lost in my head,
And I fight every day to get my rest.
Can't you find a way to escape?

So take the train from home tonight,
And all around's the morning light,
Come with me,
And I'll show you a faraway island where you can be free.

The sun is brighter there, the woods are green,
And the clear river flows,
And the rocks lead the way to the calm of the soul.
Not to go, you'd be a fool.

So take the train from home tonight...

Did you know the day would come
When the island appears on the skyline
And we'd see the death of the scapegoat?
Now we face a new unknown
But the island's a place where we listen
For a guide watching from the sky.

So take the train from home tonight...

[section "C"]

And so the love I'm feeling all around
Stills the undying storm,
And at last all my thoughts are on solid ground.
Can I find a way to bring it home?

So take the train from home tonight...

Somehow, until now I haven't mentioned the biggest difference in my lyrical approach between the Escapade era and the present day.  That is, I no longer try to force rhymes.  I now think it's much better to have effective imagery that doesn't rhyme, rather than contrived imagery that does.  And if I can come up with a good rhyme, that's a bonus.

(I love the irony of how the poem that inspired "Modern Art" - the song that started this entire saga - pokes fun at poems that don't rhyme.)

I'm tired of this structure

We come now to the first real challenge of this project.  The sprawling "Faraway Island", in its Escapade and Escapade 2 incarnations, has some lovely ideas but fails to hold my attention for its entire length.  This mostly has to do with its overly rigid formal structure exacerbating the production weaknesses.  (In all fairness, it also doesn't help that on the Escapade version in particular, I'm audibly struggling with the vocal even by that album's standards; let's just say I do not plan on singing it myself this time.)

So before turning my attention to the lyrics (which could use quite a bit of work) I've sat down and refined the song's structure and arrangement.  The extention to the intro I wrote for the Escapade 2 version will be retained, as it contextualizes the "C" section nicely:

The very opening, minus the echoed piano and sound effects

The distinctive chord progression of the "C" section, plus the first note of the organ solo

The first real change is one that my younger self would have been unwilling to make.  Previous versions of this song included an earlier-than-expected instrumental verse in the first "A" section (à la "Nowhere Man"), with the intention of telegraphing the song's scope to the listener.  I now feel that this solo is redundant in that spot because the big, sweeping intro has already served that function.  More pressingly, though, the solo needs to be held in reserve for later.  There's a reason why an instrumental verse is almost always late in a song - "Nowhere Man" is the only exception I can think of, off the top of my head.

Both the "B" and "C" sections have their origins in separate sketches.  This is significant because, in previous versions of "Faraway Island", I truncated the short guitar solo that tops off "B", thinking that its second half wouldn't fit.  It turns out, however, that with a little tweaking it does fit after all.  It also makes a far more interesting transition back to "A" for that triumphant chorus!

The guitar part sounds as written.  Yes, I know it should, strictly speaking, be written an octave higher.

The "C" section consists of a set of five variations on an unusual chord sequence somewhat reminiscent of early Pink Floyd, transcribed above; the final two change key.  I've decided to elaborate the bass part in variation 3, and (hopefully) variations 4 and 5 will have an improvised guitar solo of gradually building intensity.  This section needs a far more dramatic build-up than in previous versions, if it's to avoid being the point where the song becomes boring.

Not unexpectedly, I've decided to remove the second "B" section altogether.  It simply didn't work as a pay-off after "C".  What I think will work, though, is the very same synthesizer solo that I chose to cut from its original place in the first "A".

Just need to find the right synth tone, now.

And from there to the end, it's pretty straightforward!  I've written a new guitar fill for the final verse, based on one lick from the original "B" solo that would otherwise be lost in the process of restoring the original second half.  The final chorus and coda, though, will be as per the Escapade 2 version.

And with that, it's time to start thinking about the lyrics.

Presentiiiiing...

One down, six to go!  In contrast to the very clandestine way I presented Escapade and especially Escapade 2, I plan to make tracks of Chronicles of a Dead End available for preview as I go - the ability to do this is one reason why I'm trying to do this strictly in order.  The quality you get listening on YouTube admittedly doesn't do the material justice.  At the end of this video, I've included very brief snippets of the previous versions of the song, both for jarringly comedic effect and to highlight just how far the material's come.

In the end, I decided there was one moment in the vocal that glaringly bothered me, so I quickly re-recorded that line.

Since there's not much else to talk about here, I think it's time to introduce the line-up!  On guitar, we have Vitaliy Tkachuk (via Musiversal).  He is a phenomenal improviser.  On this track alone, the wild main solo, alternately fiery and contemplative countermelodies, and gruff rhythm work all greatly exceed any expectations I could have had for any Escapade material going in.  And his tone is almost terrifyingly intense, yet not so distorted as to detract from occasional moments of beauty amid the sonic storm.

The rhythm section consists of Adam Alesi (via Musiversal) on drums and Bruno Migliari (via Musiversal) on bass guitar.  I've actually worked with Adam on other projects before, and have consistently found that he tends to come up with drum parts that are like what I write out for him, only much better.  Bruno is workmanlike, but knows when to add a little extra flair, as demonstrated here in the breakdown section after the solo.

I first came across Musiversal, the platform that makes this multinational collaboration possible, by way of a YouTube channel that I watched quite a lot of during the COVID-19 crisis.

But despite being a fast and virtuosic song, for me this was kind of a mere warm-up due to following the Escapade version relatively closely.  Next up is "Faraway Island"... this is where the fun begins.

The effect of a good bass part

I find it curious how strongly a good bass part tends to uplift the other parts around it, once properly mixed in.  Subtle imperfections in other parts that might, in isolation, have become annoying, instead become details that merely give the performance character.  "Days to Midnight" is coming together nicely, now anchored by some great bass work closely based on a meticulous transcription (done solely by me) from the Escapade version.

Interestingly, despite this being one of the shorter and more straightforward rock songs in this set, the bassist commented approvingly on the prog influences detectable in the song.  In particular, the harmony vocals at the end of the chorus reminded him of Gentle Giant.

In reality, I don't think I'd heard a note of Gentle Giant when I first came up with this arrangement (it's lifted from the Escapade 2 version).  If I was thinking of anything proggy, it was probably rather Peter Gabriel's tendency to use these open 4ths/5ths to create a rustic, pleading effect in his vocal harmonies.  Think "Come Talk to Me" (from his 1992 solo album Us) for example.

There's one other small revision to the arrangement worth mentioning.  The drum part I provided included instructions for some atmospheric, improvised cymbal rolls in the coda.  The consequence of this was that the two takes of this passage that I got were significantly different from one another.  I ultimately used Take 2 for the coda, but felt that Take 1 of the passage was too good to waste.  So I put it in the intro, replacing the rather functional hi-hat part I'd written.

Which just leaves the guitar - and possibly some re-done vocals on a few lines.  I'm still undecided on that.

Slight diversion

While I want to be quite strict about only working on one track of Chronicles of a Dead End at a time, I've already had to renege on that just a little bit.  It just so happens that the holiday from which I have now returned, was my first post-2020 visit to the real-life place that, in part, inspired "Faraway Island" - a sprawling song that will be track 2 this time.  And I decided to bring my recording equipment with me, hoping to capture some sound effects to use in the song.  The trip proved a fruitful one, but before I go into detail I'd like to recap the two previous versions.

The Escapade version of "Faraway Island" begins and ends with what sounds like static filtered through beach noises.  That's, in fact, basically what it is: I generated some white noise, then filtered it using the PSR-5700's "seashore" effect as an impulse.  (This is essentially the same technique that I used to generate a synthetic "choir" based on my voice in that album's version of "March for the Age".)

The Escapade 2 version, then, features stock Jupiter-80 sound effects at 4 points: a "train" sound during the slightly re-worked intro, which is repeated after the long instrumental "C" section, plus "wind" at the start of "C" and "running water" at the very end.  Based on this evidence, I have come to believe that this kind of stock sound effect is only really useful for comedic effect.  This song is definitely not meant to be funny!

Nonetheless, the Chronicles version will be mainly taking 2 as its structural model, as I think I was basically on the right track in thinking that "C" could use more stuff adding to it, lest it grind the track's pace to a halt.

Not to be confused with the now-infamous video-conferencing platform.

First, I captured a few minutes of the ambience of a not-particularly-busy railway station.  It rapidly became clear why the "train" sound effect sounds so jarringly out of place in the Escapade 2 version: real-life trains sound nothing like it!  I'm already pretty sure I know exactly which part of the recording I'll be using - taking great care, of course, to make sure that no clear voices are discernible in the finished track.  For the intro, I plan to combine this with the heavily-echoed, staccato piano chord from the Escapade version and the pre-echo of "C" with which I replaced it for 2.

Second, for the "C" section itself I decided to record actual seashore sounds.  Finding a good spot to set up my equipment proved challenging, but it was worth it for an extraordinary stroke of good fortune.  About 40 seconds after I hit "record", a seagull started up a plaintive song, which then developed into a remarkably intricate duet.  This was an incredible, mind-expanding experience, as it's the first time I've appreciated for myself the complexity and expressiveness of birdsong, even if as humans we can't fully comprehend it.  I understand, at last, why so many composers (most famously Messiaen) have been entranced by it.

Finally, for the very end of the track I recorded the much gentler sound of a stream trickling over some pebbles.  I have to give the Jupiter-80 some credit: the "running water" sound effect that ends the Escapade 2 version of "Faraway Island" does sound remarkably similar to what I ended up with.

As I have yet to record anything else for this song, it remains to be seen exactly how these will fit into the final arrangement.  Still, this is really exciting!